Fat waste of a game: Little Britain for PS2
- Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
The ‘Are Games Funny?’ scale (which I have just devised), looks a bit like this:
A) It is written well, and intended to be funny
B) It is absolutely terrible, but laughably so; therefore it is funny.
C) It is so bad it’s gone past being funny bad and just gone to straight up completely bad. It’s a broken bad bad bad game.
This one is so bad, it moves past the realms of funny because it’s just so terrible. The only thing funny that this game brought about was the hilarious reviews to go with it. Writers literally begged people not to buy this game for any reason, not even for their worst enemies; some even had mental breakdowns half way through writing their piece. I personally didn’t bother writing one at all (stop having a go I was only 13 at the time!)
The game didn’t allow you to kick and jump at the same time, the weapons were useless, and the loading screens (of which were frequent), had very little to do with the actual game. Brilliant.
The only thing funny that this game brought about was the hilarious reviews to go with it
- PS2: Little Britain: The Video Game
There were a lot of bad titles on the PS2, and also a heavy amount of good. But this article isn’t about good games; it’s about the worst games ever made, so we can quickly move on to Little Britain. It’s obvious why this game was made, but why did it have to be made so badly!? The £30 game was released as a money making mission, it had 8 terrible mini-games (all of which were bad rip-offs of other titles), and the worst presentation of any game to date.
‘Ok, fine so it didn’t work as a game, but it must have had some redeeming qualities? It’s a little Britain game, it must have been full of hearty laughs? And of course it will have had a multiplayer mode, what with the mini-games?’ Asks the extremely naive gamer.
There was in fact no multiplayer, and no one who ever played this game ever laughed ever. Not even once. A bit like what happens when you watch the re-runs of Little Britain now.
- XBOX. Drake of the 99 Dragons
Drake starts off as you watch his entire clan get destroyed by murdering assassins, he then dies himself and his brought back to life to... wait a minute? Nobody cares about the plot, and nobody should? Oh ok then.
The story in the game wasn’t even the worst part of Drake of the 99 Dragons, even despite the narration done by a man who has never been taught how to speak, or the random addition/removal of characters every now and then that you don’t particular understand or care about. No, the worst bit was the game play; the main mechanic was dual wielding weapons, but the auto-lock on was broken and the assisting reticule was barely visible. One mission in the game involved you following a courier to find the secret location of an enemy base, unfortunately the person you were following would often get stuck on a box or a pixel, leaving the mission unconquerable; that is until you work out that if you find the right door yourself you can finish the mission, leaving the courier behind. I love it when you can tell a developer has put effort into a game.
- XBOX360: YARIS
You probably have never even heard of this game, and there is good reason to. On the official xbox website, Yaris has no published reviews; this game was so bad no one even bothered reviewing it. As an obvious promotional tool, the game was made to big-up the Toyota Yaris; in actual fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it negatively affected Yaris’ sales for that year. I wonder why no car companies have tried this since? Ford Fiesta game anyone? Oh you wan't a picture? can't have one... they don't seem to exist on the internet.
- PC: Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
This one sells itself. As a rip-off of the great-fun arcade 18 wheeler games, Big Rigs attempts to grasp some of that similar charm, and ultimately fails miserably. I am absolutely baffled as to how this game ever went past the early production stages; and almost pushed into a coma at the thought of its release. The only thing that stops me from lapsing into a deep never ending sleep, is how painfully funny the failings are in this game. Firstly, you’re single racing opponent remains frozen to the spot and doesn’t move, making it impossible to actually lose, ever... even if the opponent crosses the line before you, the same message will greet you ‘You’re Winner’. You can hammer the direction keys to turn the big rig and it will, but a few seconds after you want it to, and at random varying angles. The big rigs have little to no breaks, however if you press reverse the truck will stop completely; if you hold the reverse button down, the rig will keep on accelerating to over 30,000mph. There are no consequences involved when you ram your vehicle through a house or tree, as there is absolutely no slow down in the game anywhere; the vehicle will just keep going until you hit reverse. It looks as good as it plays, my favourite aspect of the visuals being the box that is supposed to surround the counting down clock – it isn’t big enough and the digits spread out onto the screen. The music is just as good as the way it looks, with 30 notes being repeated constantly, but in perfect Big Rigs fashion the track only lasts for half of the race duration, meaning you are left with no sound as the trucks themselves don’t make a noise; utter silence to make sure everyone can you hear you laugh at how shocking this game is. Just take a second to think about each individual failing, and how important it is for a developer to get these sections right in a game. How did this ever happen? Incredible. You have to watch the video below to get a true understanding of how bad this game is. Enjoy the reviewers deadpan expression; I personally wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing.
Female First Edward Lewis
- Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
The ‘Are Games Funny?’ scale (which I have just devised), looks a bit like this:
A) It is written well, and intended to be funny
B) It is absolutely terrible, but laughably so; therefore it is funny.
C) It is so bad it’s gone past being funny bad and just gone to straight up completely bad. It’s a broken bad bad bad game.
This one is so bad, it moves past the realms of funny because it’s just so terrible. The only thing funny that this game brought about was the hilarious reviews to go with it. Writers literally begged people not to buy this game for any reason, not even for their worst enemies; some even had mental breakdowns half way through writing their piece. I personally didn’t bother writing one at all (stop having a go I was only 13 at the time!)
The game didn’t allow you to kick and jump at the same time, the weapons were useless, and the loading screens (of which were frequent), had very little to do with the actual game. Brilliant.
- PS2: Little Britain: The Video Game
There were a lot of bad titles on the PS2, and also a heavy amount of good. But this article isn’t about good games; it’s about the worst games ever made, so we can quickly move on to Little Britain. It’s obvious why this game was made, but why did it have to be made so badly!? The £30 game was released as a money making mission, it had 8 terrible mini-games (all of which were bad rip-offs of other titles), and the worst presentation of any game to date.
‘Ok, fine so it didn’t work as a game, but it must have had some redeeming qualities? It’s a little Britain game, it must have been full of hearty laughs? And of course it will have had a multiplayer mode, what with the mini-games?’ Asks the extremely naive gamer.
There was in fact no multiplayer, and no one who ever played this game ever laughed ever. Not even once. A bit like what happens when you watch the re-runs of Little Britain now.
- XBOX. Drake of the 99 Dragons
Drake starts off as you watch his entire clan get destroyed by murdering assassins, he then dies himself and his brought back to life to... wait a minute? Nobody cares about the plot, and nobody should? Oh ok then.