Physical appearance is least important in selecting a bride. The prospective brides are judged on their merits, such as health, stamina, strength, dispositions, manners, and domestic skills. The character of the girl's family, as well as their prestige in the community, is also taken into account.
In these cases, no courtship is involved. It is possible that the prospective couple will hardly know each other before they marry. They will usually send a third, uninvolved person to hear out the girl's parents on the acceptability of the young man. Rejection of a formal proposal is considered a disgrace. If all goes well, the father of the boy then calls on the father of the girl. It is a polite and rather serious meeting. The purpose is to obtain the formal consent of the girl's father, and to establish a price to be paid for the bride. This money is to compensate the father for the loss of his daughter, and not as the purchase of a bride.
The discussion can be a long one, centering on the estimated value of the future bride. All the future bride's desired qualities are taken into consideration. In addition, the girl's father calculates how much his daughter has cost him since birth, since he is in effect giving her away. His money and training have helped make her what she is. At these meetings, the discussions can become quite serious. Sometimes it is necessary to call in friends as witnesses to the bride's good qualities. They may argue for a higher price on her behalf, or to call in other friends to mediate. Pliashka
When an agreement is reached, and the bride price is accepted, the meeting ends with the father of the future bride drinking a symbolic glass of wine. This means that the boy has been formally approved as a husband for his daughter, under the agreed conditions. Following the formal agreement of terms, there is often a banquet, complete with music, singing, and dancing. The bride-to-be and her family often feign great sorrow at having to leave each other. The groom's family may complain about the high bride price they had to pay. In the end, they decide that the price is fair for a bride who will be a good wife to their son.
Frequently, a few days after the agreement has been made, a ceremony called a pliashka, or plotchka, is held. This event is attended by both friends and relatives of the couple. The symbol of this joyous celebration is a bottle of wine or brandy wrapped in a brightly colored silk handkerchief, brought to the ceremony by the young man's father. A necklace of gold coins is traditionally attached to the bottle. The groom-to-be's father takes the necklace of coins and puts it around the future bride's neck, and warmly embraces his future daughter-in-law, or bori. The necklace makes it clear to all that the girl is now engaged and not available as a bride to any other man. The groom-to-be's father drinks from the bottle and passes it around to the guests. When the bottle is emptied, it is refilled with wine or brandy for use at the wedding celebration.