brittany asks :
There is this boy I like, he works in a shop I often go in and he’s usually there, and whenever I see him my heart goes really fast and I blush when he smiles.
He looks like he is about one year older than me and I have never spoken to him and I don’t even know his name but I really like him and I want something to happen between us. What should I do?
Yin replies
It’s good, if you’re single and are looking for a boyfriend, to have your ‘guy antennae’ out on full alert so that you notice when there’s some chemistry between you and someone.
Be careful though - if you consider his job, it’s normal for him to smile and be friendly, and even to be charming.
You are hoping he might be feeling the same way and perhaps you have a choice - either take the bold, sassy approach and when you go in there, buy something, linger a little until there’s no one else in there, try not to look like a stalker, and casually say it’d be really nice to meet up for a drink away from the shop one day.
Keep it relaxed like go for brunch or something, rather than an evening drink. Or you could take the lame approach and when you in there next, try to get talking and drop your name into conversation, or just try to exchange names.
Then you can send him a postcard or something and say you don’t want to embarrass him in the shop but if he’d be up for going out for a drink, you’d be up for it - and give him your number or email address. You don’t actually know him though, so unless you know him better than you’re letting on in your letter, be careful about what personal information you share.
Yang replies
Okay - we’ve all been there. Just because you feel like this about him doesn’t mean that he is going to feel the same or that he has even distinguished you from other customers.
He could well just be doing his job very well. He makes you feel as though he recognizes you, and in your head, that means maybe there is a connection. Essentially, it’s no different from having a crush on someone you see on a bus every day, or from a school-girl crush.
You don’t know anything about the guy and yet you convince yourself you’re a match made in heaven. If you want to keep going to this shop, don’t create an embarrassing situation for yourself.
Infatuations can cause us to make hasty decisions and can make us act like children – it’s always based on someone we barely know. The best thing to do is to withdraw from the situation a little. Go to the shop less, see if he drifts out of your mind.
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