Katie And Her Best Friend Want To Be Together

14 November 2011

katie asks :

Hi my name’s katie and I've fallen in love with my best friend. My parents don't approve of relationships at 16 but I really want to keep a long-term relationship with him. All of my friends have had sex and everything.
Thing is he told me he would like to go out with me and he knows that I really like him but he wants to meet my parents before having sex and stuff.
I said that they won't be welcoming but he's still pushing for us to start a relationship. I honestly have no idea what to do, he's gorgeous and I think he deserves better!:(

Yin replies

Your friends might well tell you they’ve had sex but that’s no guarantee - and it’s not a competition.
You have a guy who wants to meet your parents and do things properly if he, and your parents, are all important to you, they’ll all respect you if you take time. They can’t stop you from having a relationship, and their fears are perfectly natural - things have moved on a lot with your generation, where apparently, the average age for a teenager to lose their virginity is 14.
Note that the teenage pregnancy rate is also one of the highest in Europe. Have a look at the Channel 4 website Sexperienceuk.channel4.com or look out for episodes of The Sex Education Show.
First step is, develop your relationship - even though you’re already best friends, a romantic relationship will need time to become stable and secure, and you’ll enjoy sex so much more the first time if you’ve been together long enough to be comfortable with things going wrong or being embarrassing.
Don’t rush in to it - if it’s important to him to meet your parents first, then go with that and use it as a reason to delay. You don’t have to have intercourse either, you can enjoy petting and foreplay for a long time before you have full intercourse - and make sure you’re protected when you do.

Yang replies

You’re old enough to have a boyfriend and if your parents aren’t going to be keen on the idea, they’re going to have to get used to it at some point so you may as well break them in gently.
Say to them that having a boyfriend doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to be sneaking off in to corners and getting up to things they wouldn’t approve of - he’s your best friend, you both really want to go out with each other, and make it clear that he wants to meet them and that he is very respectful of you.
Answer their worries before they have a chance to voice them. But do assert your right to have a boyfriend. Maybe they’ll react better than you’re expecting.