L J Green asks :
I've been dating another girl for around a year but my mum hates her. Everyone else that knows about my relationship thinks my mum is being out of order. I know she is my mum but I'm nearly 17 and she has taken my phone away and gone through it, deleting everything to do with my girlfriend. She days she doesn't mind me being a lesbian but she hates my girl. I feel that she has invaded my privacy and treated me like a twelve year old. My mum is now threatening to move out of my area if I don't split with my girlfriend. I have just started sixth form and I can't get to school if she moves us. She doesn't care and has said she just wants my girlfriend out of my life. I don't want to leave her or move. What do I do?
Yin replies
It is hard when partners come in between you and your family. There are several ways to look at this. You are still young and relationships do come and go even if you don’t think it now. Do you love her enough to let it keep driving a wedge between you and your mum?
Do you like to rebel against your mums wishes a lot? Could you be dating this girl because she ruffles your mum’s feathers?
Your mum might have a problem with your being a lesbian, and is hiding it be directing her negative feelings towards your girlfriend. Talk to her let her know that that this is you and no matter how many of your partners come and go the fact that you prefer women to men is not going to go away.
Yang replies
She should not have gone through your phone as this is private and I’m sure she would not have been happy had you done the same to her. By deleting messages and photos she is not going to erase the memories that you have of your girlfriend.
You have not explained why she hates her so much. Perhaps talk to her and ask her why, if you even think about breaking up with your partner for her then you need to understand what it is that she dislikes so much.
If you move, would you get a bus? Or walk? There is likely an alternative means of getting to College if you are adamant at staying with this girl.
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