Danni asks :
Hi Lucy,
My really good friend of mine has only just come out of a relationship with this girl, who I’m also really close too. He's just at university and I’m not. Me and him kissed the other week and have been talking ever since and hinting that it will happen again. Our texts are really flirty and there are some bedroom jokes there. I’ve began to really like him - well I did before but not this much. I’m scared he will want it to go somewhere but I don’t want to be just a rebound and i feel really guilty about his ex. She broke it off with him which is the worst part because I’m not sure he’s over her! Feelings suck.
Our Reply
Hi Danni, thanks for getting in touch.
You are right you don’t want to be the rebound girl, because you could be setting yourself up for hurt.
If his relationship was destined to fail then perhaps he already knew. He may not have done the dumping but may have seen it coming. That said, he may still not be over her.
The focus of a bit of sexting and flirting could have been just what he needed to help him through but it’s not necessarily what you need. If you feel that you want to be in a relationship then tell him so. If you tell him how it feels from your point of view then he might see how it could look from the other side.
Perhaps what you all need is time; him to get over your friend, your friend to move on to someone else, you to clear your head. At the moment you jeopardise your friendship with both of them so you could end up with neither. Why not wait and see how he is in a few weeks and take it from there. If your friend didn’t want to be with him, fine, but she might have something to say if you then begin dating him right away. She may think something was going on with you two before this all happened.
If he needs to dot around from woman to woman until he has got it out of his system then so be it, but try not to drop yourself in it when it comes to setting yourself up for being his rebound. Maybe just enjoy the banter right now and see how things pan out. It could be that he approaches you to start something up, if that happens then you know that he is not just treating you are the woman after the ex.
tagged in University Flirty Relationship friend yin and yang agony aunt kissed
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