Annie asks :
Hi I am 30 years old. I have the most amazing parents but my problem is they are too overprotective. I value my parents opinions but if I ever suggest trying new things e.g. travelling abroad or even a break away in England they are never keen and knock my confidence. I don't live with my parents but somehow feel very controlled and feel if I do these things I will be hurting my parents but on the other hand I want to feel free and live my life. I have just come back from living abroad and it was the most amazing experience of my life, but I really wish I had my parents support and go ahead to do more things. I am falling into a depression because I feel whichever choice I make I will be unhappy or feel guilty. Please help. Thank you
Our Reply
Parents will always be over protective, a parent’s job doesn’t end at 18 when you leave home it's is a constant worry that you will be safe. Trying new things and travelling create more feelings of worry because they are unfamiliar to them. To you, they will not be so daunting because you have done them. What they fail to realise that you could be in just as much danger if you are close by or far away, there are risks in every walk of life. The point is if you take this attitude you would never do anything, for fear of the unknown.
Your concern for other people’s feeling is what is holding you back because they physically can’t stop you from going- you are your own person now so they don’t really have a choice, especially if you live away from them now. You can do whatever it is that makes you happy, however you have to accept that you will experience some form of opposition on your return. If they love you they may disagree with what you do but have to accept it eventually or this will drive a permanent wedge between you all.
If you are feeling depressed, perhaps call the Samaritans. They are available 24 hours a day to talk to if you are unhappy or feeling guilty about what is going on in your life right now. If you talk about your experiences more then you will gain confidence in why you went want what you got from it, which will mean you can justify yourself when you talk to your parents about the things you have done with your life and subsequently the things you will do in future.
tagged in Parents depression abroad yin and yang agony aunt
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