Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm going to get straight to the point. I'm not sure if I like this boy or not. I know that the fact that I'm unsure makes it seem unlikely, but I just simply don't know. We have known each other for about a year now, and we have done a play together, we are currently in the same drama class and we are both in a team for a national competition for the next few months. I really like him as a friend - we get along really well, we have lots of banter (even casual swearing) and have a lot of fun. I also like that he is very enthusiastic, dedicated, responsible and athletic (although he is not as smart as I'd like him to be) Recently, he started showing signs that he may like me more than a friend (e.g. - more casual physical contact) and I may have been giving the impression that I do too (through physical contact). Shall I just go for it? (aka ask him out or flirt more, etc.) BTW - I am a sophomore and he is a junior but we are technically the same age.
Our Reply
Hi Anonymous,
When we date someone we have to take them, both the good and the bad, so if he is not as intelligent as you would like him to be he still embodies all of the other qualities that you like and have mentioned.
You seem to have a lot in common, which is good and it sounds like you get on well together.
You will never know until you take a chance- it sounds like you are attracted to him physically so that is a good start. If he is not a very close friend then you have little to risk, if things don’t work out, so there is not a lot standing in your way.
One of the first signs of dating is physical contact, the brush of an arm or pushing them away when they tell you a joke, so it appears that you are both giving off the right signals to each other know that there is an attraction there.
Remember that all relationships are a bit of a dress rehearsal to find whether you are compatible in the long term so no one is ever 100% that they are going to be with the one or that it will work out. That is just a risk that you need to take and who knows you might strike lucky!
However if you do nothing, you could just go on as you are having a bit of healthy flirtation, it’s up to you!
Good luck,
Lucy x
tagged in friend yin and yang agony aunt
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