Cami asks :
I have been dating this guy for about 6 months now, we have known each other for about 3 years but not exactly friends. However recently I've been finding him less attractive and almost seeing him as a friend rather my boyfriend. I keep thinking I want to break up with him but I don't want to hurt him as he is clearly more into me than I'm into him. He often embarrasses me by making me look stupid and sometimes i find him patronising, but deep down he is a good guy. I've been having doubts about a future with him for a few weeks now. I'm not sure what to do, I'm worried if we break up things will become awkward as there is no way around seeing each other most weekends as I work at the pub he and his friends go to. Also a week ago a ex boyfriend who I was mad about but the relationship fell apart when he had to move away for a while for work. We still talk and he has a girlfriend now, and I find myself feeling jealous. Thanks for the help Cami
Yin replies
Hi Cami, thanks for writing in.
You will do him more harm if you leave it longer and don’t tell him how you feel. With each day that passes you may like him less as his feelings for you deepen and you will never again meet in the middle. There was always the risk when you first stared going out that it would not last as there is with every relationship. You need to prepare for it being awkward and difficult with your friends for a while; however things will get easier as time passes.
Yang replies
If you find him less attractive, embarrassing and patronizing towards you then there is little left to keep you together as these niggles will only get worse, especially as you have only been going out a short time. You will need to inflict a little bit of hurt, however in the long term this will save him a lot more upset as if you go on any longer he may fall for you.
It is natural to feel jealousy as you are not happy in your relationship, he may appear to be in his. It is likely more the comparison that is making you jealous than it is missing him.
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