Hi Confused,

It sounds like this guy might have boosted your self-confidence. You mention at first that you are not happy with yourself and feel awkward, but when you talk about him- it seems like perhaps you don’t fixate on this so much. It could be that this guy is doing you some good and boosting your self-esteem. That said- if you like him is because he is the only guy who has ever shown an interest in you then perhaps stay as friends. This is not a good reason to get with someone- it takes much more than this to sustain a relationship. If you feel ‘disgusted’ with yourself then this is something that you need to turn around and work through even if someone else thinks positively about you. You need to love yourself before you can be loved.

It might be worth talking to your friend about all of this. If you love her and your friendship means a lot to you then perhaps talk about your feelings and see where she is with him. She might fee hurt if she has recently spilt with him, however if she feels like the split was a good move then she might be supportive. You don’t know until you talk to her, however try to respect the fact that she has been in your life longer than him.

The same goes for him. If you don’t talk to him about your feelings then you might never know what could be for you both. You have only known each other for a short time so if he doesn’t feel the same way then it may be easier to recover from than if you were in a routine of being very close friends.