Confused Mom asks :
Hi Lucy,
I am a single mom separated from my ex. Have a young child who doesn’t live with me at the moment. I met a man recently overseas and there was instant attraction. He is married and lives with his wife and son. We exchanged numbers and started chatting and talking via email and text. We live in opposite sides of the world and will perhaps never meet again. It was a airport encounter. Never was physical but we so badly want to be. We sext and talk dirty and obviously miss each other. He said he can't leave his wife and I am ok with that. Is what we are doing, called an affair? And is he cheating on his wife if he sexts me and we talk? We have never been physical. Thank you.
Our Reply
Hi Confused Mom,
Affairs can be physical or emotional and it sounds like yours is the latter. Although you might not be acting out your fantasies you are still actively engaging in getting each other turned on. The ultimate question is- would you be ok with this if you partner was doing the same? If not then it might be worth putting an end to this out of respect for his wife.
If he has already admitted that he won’t leave her- then are you ok with this relationship never materialising into anything more than what it is now? If deep down you are hoping for more then you might be setting yourself up for hurt.
He has the full package- a wife and you. What are you putting on the line for the sake of this? Your hope of finding love closer to home? Perhaps try not to put aside your chances of falling in love for the sake of your conversations and sexts as you could regret it later down the line.
The connection you have might be real- but if he won’t leave his life as it stands then perhaps you could talk about being friends and maintaining that bond you have in a different way.
tagged in cheating Affair married wife yin and yang agony aunt son
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