diamond asks :
I have very strong feelings for a guy I have known socially over a year.In the last month I have learned quite a lot about him and we get on very well.Problem is I have landed in a triangle with another guy who is a friend of myself and the object fo my desire-and he really wants to be with me. I have told him I am not attracted to him in romantic or sexual way, I value the friendship,But he is getting over-bearing-dropping sulky comments if I decline an invite to anything,and commenting that I want the other guy.I have never told anyone -even the guy that I want him and I do'nt spend more time or behave differently around him either.Im worried My admirer's attitude will scupper my chances.Pls advise
Yin replies
You have told your friend that you are not interested in him that way, so he needs to move on and if he can’t then he doesn’t value your friendship as much as he should. If you value the friendship now, then you may not as much if he continues to act like this, so suggest that things should go back to the way they were.
Yang replies
If you really like this guy as much as you say you do then I would suggest that you come clean and let him know. If you don’t you will always be wondering ‘what if?’ If you begin date this man it will let your friend know that you are serious about not liking him and allow you both to move on from this. If you think at all that your admirer will scupper your chances then dial back your friendship with him for a bit, that way you will not be affected by his comments or attitude. Chances are he will miss your friendship too much and put his feelings aside.
tagged in Date friend yin and yang agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.