Emma asks :
So I was with him for 2 years and 2 months and we split up as we just began to argue too much and both needed space. We have a daughter together who has just turned 1. About 6 weeks after we split I found out that somewhere near the beginning of the relationship he had a woman round to watch movies and spend time with. Why he never told me at the time I don't understand? Then after we split up he got in contact with this same girl and had sexual intercourse with her. I feel more heartbroken now than I did. We've been split up 2 months now and I feel so gutted because I guess I always thought there was a chance we would get back together and now I know there isn't. I'd love to know what's honestly going through his mind. I know now that to him it was definitely over and I just hadn't accepted it yet. I still feel like I want him. I need to know how to get over him?
If you try to focus on the constant arguing and the need for space to reinforce why you split up, this should help you to get over him. Going back there would likely only bring more of the same. You have a history together, so it is bound to still hurt even if you know that when you were together your time wasn't happy.
Agony Aunts on Female First
If he had this woman over then perhaps he didn't have a lot of respect for you even early on into the relationship, so maybe you are better off without that lack of regard for your feelings. The reason you still perhaps want him is because you are newly single. After two years of being with someone it can leave you feeling vulnerable- but the point is you won't find love again or feel happiness with another man unless you feel like you have moved on.
Distraction is the key to get your through. Focus on your family, your friendships and your hobbies and before you know it you should feel much stronger being on your own and realise that you can do it. At that point it is up to you whether you want to continue on your own or find someone else, but it seems that you broke up for a valid reason so try and keep that in mind while you go through the healing process.
tagged in Relationship daughter yin and yang agony aunt
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