Hi Gwen,

If you have given all the support you can then you have done your best for her. She is likely frightened that she is not going to have you so close anymore and her threats and anger are coming from a place of uncertainty. If she has relied on you heavily for childcare and help then she is going to have to make changes if you do move. If she has a good support system around her in her friends, fathers of the children and other family then she should be able to call on them for help.

If she has always been jealous of her brother, then this could be rubbing salt in old wounds from when she was young.

The point is that she made the choice to be with those different men and have their children. Her nastiness may come from regretting some of her decisions; however that is not your burden. There comes a point where she needs to accept the life she has chosen and make the best of it. It sounds like she has only has considered how this is going to affect her not how good it could be for you, while you are thinking about how your move is going to affect her first.

There does come a point where you have to do some things for yourself. Especially if you have been doing for others for most of your life. You can appease her by telling her that you could come back for blocks of time and help her out and see her. You can still be there for her, just in different ways- over the phone, Skype, e-mail and for a few weeks throughout the year.

As a point of personal safety, however, if the threats do get worse, I would suggest calling the local police station. She may be your daughter, but threatening a person is just not acceptable.

Lucy x