Lorraine asks :
Hi Lucy,
My problem started 3 and a half weeks ago. I went to a barbecue with friends without my partner. He knew where I was and as I was driving I didn't drink. However my phone ran out of battery and on returning home at 12.20am my partner was outside the house! He called me some terrible names and snatched the car key from me saying I was drunk! We have not spoken since and avoid each other at home; that was nearly 4 weeks ago! I don't know where to go from here if I need conversation I have to travel 15 minutes to see a friend or go to the gym!
Our Reply
Hi Lorraine,
It sounds like you really need to talk to someone about this, to be able to put your point of view across, if your partner is not letting you do this at home.
All of the events that have occurred could be helped such as your phone, but they happened nonetheless. His reaction might have been through worry, if he was unable to get in touch with you. That said, if you didn’t drink and therefore were not drunk after your night out then his reaction is unjustified or a result of something else. He might have been jealous that you were out without him and so used the driving as an excuse. Is he normally a jealous person?
Perhaps ask him to sit down with you and talk things through calmly.
You could ask him why he was so upset ad if there was another reason for him getting angry with you as the driving might not be the only thing at play here.
If you tell him the truth and he refuses to believe you, then maybe this is not the guy for you. Relationships are built on trust and if he can’t find it in himself to believe you then, it sounds like he doesn’t have that trust in place.
tagged in Friends Partner yin and yang agony aunt
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