Helen asks :
Hi Lucy,
My friend is a LIAR and I don’t know what to do about it! I have been friends with him for about 10 years now or maybe more and I really did think I knew him until I found out his Facebook password only to find out he lies about everything. Big things down to small silly things! I really don’t know what to do, as I wouldn’t want him to be upset and stop speaking to me but I want to help him. What do you suggest?
Our Reply
Hi Helen,
Is there no other place he lies? On Twitter for example? Or could you ask him about one of the things he has posted for public view on Facebook to broach the subject with him? Lying can become a compulsive behaviour like an addiction to drugs or alcohol, so it’s shouldn’t be taken lightly.
You could talk to him about it but if he doesn’t want to then suggest that he go and see the doctor to get referred to a counsellor. Counsellors that specialise in CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) are the ones who can help to try and change the pattern of thinking and subsequently the behaviours.
The first step, however is admitting that he has lied. Try to be supportive; you are not accusing him- only trying to help him and find out why he feels the need to make things up. If you sound at all judgemental then he will likely close up and not talk to you about it. He needs to know that he can confide in you for something that he has likely not admitted to anyone.
But you are right to seek advice about him, as this can get progressively worse and affect the rest of his life. He is lucky to have you as a friend.
Lucy x
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