Hannah asks :
Hello Lucy!
So 2 of my closest friends have been in a relationship for 2 years, before they got together, myself and the boy used to he really close! However when they got together, I couldn't bare it so I left the friendship group. Now 2 years into their relationship, the boy has started to talk to me through text however when I see him in person (when his girlfriend is there) he ignores me... As his girlfriend has no idea we talk. I feel like we should stop talking as it is harsh on his girlfriend, but I feel like I can’t just ignore the boy as I have known him for many years! I really don't know whether to stop talking, or whether to tell the girlfriend, but I would hate to ruin our relationship too. Thanks.
Our Reply
Hi Hannah,
If your intentions are that of a friendship with this guy, then you don’t really have anything to apologize for, as he has got in touch with you. However if you think you might have feelings for this man then that is different.
If he is acting differently towards you when his girlfriend is around, chances are he is feeling guilty about speaking to you. He might have got back in touch because he misses you; however he has taken his time to realize this. It’s not necessarily your place to tell his girlfriend, and if she finds out she will likely take things out on you.
It might be wise to talk to him and tell him that you need a bit of consistency in your contact, if there I nothing romantic going on.
Things might have gone sour with his girlfriend and he needs a friend to confide in. Talking to him is likely the only way that you can get to the bottom of why his behaviour towards you is so erratic.
tagged in Friendship Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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