Jilly asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm 20 years old and I'd really like to find a boyfriend. Problem is, I don't know where to meet anyone new. I've had a few bad experiences recently, usually when I've made the first move, which has definitely knocked my confidence. I don't know where I can go to meet people that's not a bar or club! I'm not very confident and find it hard to go into situations like parties and classes on my own, and my friends are usually too busy to go out anywhere with me. Any advice?
Hi Jilly,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Some people rightly or wrongly think that a bar or a club is the only place to meet someone. However it all depends on what kind of person you are looking to meet.
Perhaps you could ask your single friends to come with you to a class- you say they are too busy, however if they have something invested in it for themselves they may be more willing to come with you. Even if they only go with you a few times, this might be enough to help you get settled and be able to go it alone.
Maybe you could look for a group to accompany a hobby or interest you might have- it could give you a good conversation starter with someone who shares this passion, hopefully making it easier to engage with them.
If you meet someone here, then they may also share the same opinion of bars and clubs as you- if that is something that you are not fond of. Maybe you could suggest the cinema, theatre or go out for a meal as an alternative night time activity?
You say you lack confidence, however if you try something out of your comfort zone every week, then this might help to build it up and make it easier for you to talk to men in general. Now you have decided you want to find someone, this may spur you on to try and overcome your fear of meeting new people as it’s an integral part of finding 'the one'.
Could you sign up to a dating site and start talking to men over their designated messaging service first? Maybe this could help you get to know someone before going on a date, giving you something to bond over further upon meeting each other?
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