Hi Ella,

The trouble with rumours is that they cause this sort of confusion and mistrust between couples. Perhaps you need to take him at his word. If he is sensitive about it could be a sign that he is angry you don’t trust him and that you believe his ex over him.

The baby might look like your boyfriend’s mum but that is not a fool-proof way of telling if it’s his child. The only way you will know for sure is if he takes a paternity test. Perhaps suggest it to him if he is fed up of the accusations from his ex. That way all three of you will know the truth and you can then react accordingly. If you encourage him to do it for his own sake rather than yours then he might be more open to the idea- but you get the peace of mind too.

Chances are if it was his baby the mother would need some kind of support, yes- if she has not asked then maybe it’s not his.

If you love him and nothing has made you doubt your trust for him before then maybe leave this alone. If you want to persist in it some more then be prepared for more of the same reactions from your partner as you have had already.

Maybe change the way you bring it up with him. If you tend to be direct with him, for instance, then perhaps this is not the best tactic to take to talk to him about it. You could look at the ways in which you bring it up in conversation and think about tweaking them so they are more sympathetic towards him. It is possible that he feels he is being verbally bombarded by the women in his life, if you are both talking about the same thing over and over. If you are understanding and patient; you are separating yourself from his ex and being a support, which he might need right now.