Hayley asks :
Hi Lucy,
I had a fall out with my best friend three months ago; over these three months she has given me mixed signals as to whether she wants to be friends or not which has left me feeling confused. We have not spoken properly for three months and in about two weeks she moves to another country for a year. Each time I have texted her I receive a blunt response and I have apologised so many times and tried to make the effort to see her but I am getting nothing back. I am struggling with what to do, whether I should say anything before she goes but I feel that she will not appreciate it and does not understand how much she meant to me? I am worried she is going to move without even saying goodbye and we have been best friends for 7 years.
Hi Hayley,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Why not write her a letter? That will give you more space to share your feelings than a text and she might pay attention if you have taken the time to write it out for her. That way you can think carefully about your explanation and remind her of how much you will miss her.
It seems a shame to throw away 7 years of friendship especially before she leaves the country. It sounds like you would feel better if she left on good terms, even if you don't get back to the way you were before the fall out. It sounds like all you want is to be civil with one another.
That said, if you have tried many times and she is not acknowledging your apology then perhaps this fall out has shown her for her true colours. After finding out how much she bares a grudge- is this someone you want to be friends with? Or would you prefer to have a friend who forgives and forgets when mistakes within your friendship group inevitably happen?
Her moving away might be the break you need to move on and remember the good times- but also embrace new people and the new memories to be made. There are lessons to be learned from your friendship with her and perhaps you can apply them to new ones.
tagged in Friends best friend
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