Amy asks :
Hi Lucy,
How can I get my boyfriend of 4 years to spend more time with me? The past few months feels like I have being going it alone. I only see him once to twice a week and we live in the same town. It always seems to be me asking when I can see him never the other way round and if I want to see him I have to go down to his house to see him. I have asked him if he still wants to be with me and he says yes. He always seems to have better things to do or says he can’t be bothered to come up because he has to walk home. I love him and want to be with him. What can I do? I need some help and advice on the situation we talk on the phone everyday but it’s not the same as being with him. I feel like I am going this alone.
Hi Amy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps every time he says that he is going out and doing something – you could do the same. There is nothing worse than sitting at home wondering what your partner is up to when you are doing nothing. It can make people become paranoid and jealous. Maybe call upon your friends or family and make a plan, that way you are not just focusing on the fact that he cancelled yours.
If he sees that you are having a good time without him then he might gravitate back towards you. By asking for time with him, he is in a comfortable place, however if you are going out and doing things without him then he might realise that he wants to spend more time with you. Men like to feel needed and if he finds out that you don’t spend all your hours pining over him then chances are he will come back to you. You could tell him when you call him every night what you have been up too and he might want a slice of the action and realise what he’s missing.
Some men like it when their partner is hard to get rather than craving them all the time, so it could work in your favour.
If this doesn't work then it might be that you need to look for someone who will spend more time with you, without you having to constantly ask.
tagged in Love boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
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