Michelle asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have been married for 8 months to a man how become a completely different person during the past year. He has realised his ways and is starting to change into a better person. But whilst he was being like this I gained and trusted a male friend about we became extremely close. My feelings for him have developed and for the past 4 months I have seen him most weekends. My feelings for him are different than that of my husband. We have loads in common, he is however 8 years younger - I think I'm in love with him and not my husband. How do I know? What is the right thing to do?
Hi Michelle,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps the reason you are so drawn to this man is because your husband has been different to the one you married. Maybe if he had stayed the same-you would not feel so strongly about this other man. Maybe this male friend was able to help you though this difficult time with your partner if he has concentrated on bettering himself and neglected your needs.
Do you trust that your husband will be able to sustain this betterment? If you believe that he is committed to returning to the man you married then maybe you could give him a second chance?
It could be that because this new man is eight years younger than you that he brings out your youthful side and helps you to forget about your new responsibilities and make you remember a time when life wasn't so serious. Are there any obvious gaps because of your age difference that could pose a problem if you were to leave your husband for him?
He may have been the breath of fresh air you needed to help you though your first hurdle with your husband. It might be worth enrolling in some couples counselling before making your final decision so you can be sure which path you want to take.
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.