Hi Lucy,

This sounds like a very confusing situation to be in, especially when neither of you know about each other’s sexuality.

Why not begin by telling her about you. If she is flirty with you now and you tell her, she might dial it back a bit for fear that you are getting the wrong message, if she is not interested. She might use the opportunity to tell you about her sexual preference and then you can take it from there.

If she is interested in girls then perhaps suggest that you go out together- if nothing else it will help you bond as friends, but will also allow the opportunity to talk about what your type is and your possible mutual attraction towards one another.

You might be left wondering ‘what if?’ if you don’t find a way to talk to her about your sexuality. She might just be flaky, which is why her messages are sporadic, so try not to read too much into this. Some people are not great communicators over text message and without any other form of contact sometimes they can often be very misleading.

Communication is key for any relationship, platonic or romantic, so perhaps this is the best place for you to start.