Lisa asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have this friend I'm close to but recently we haven't been getting on very well. It's not just us her grades have slipped she’s moved in with her creep of a boyfriend and she's out every night. I seriously want her to sort out her life and dump the douche but she isn't listening. Please help, Lisa.
Our Reply
Hi Lisa,
This sounds very frustrating for you, that you have seen her potential and her current circumstances might be letting this slip away.
Unfortunately, even if you can see where she was and where she is now, chances are she might not realise it herself. If people criticise someone’s life, the temptation is to get on the defensive, so telling her that you don’t agree with her choices might push her away.
The most you can do is be there for her and help her reflect on her choices and let her make changes in her life once she feels ready, with your support. If you try to tell her what to do, she might not think that she can confide in you anymore and stop talking openly to you. You really need her trust at this point. If things don’t go well then try to be there for her as much as you can.
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