Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I hate who I've become, I keep finding myself crying or being really angry over little things, I get jealous really easily and I can't stand to look in the mirror/ get in pictures, it's becoming to affect my life, if I think I look awful I will not go out, or I will be miserable all day or night. I'm also really lazy and failing university, I can't find the motivation to do my work because I'm constantly depressed and can't concentrate. I'm worried about my future as I see myself nowhere with no husband or kids, I turn 21 this year and I just feel my life is going nowhere, also I think I love this boy from my friendship group who has no interest in me what so ever, we were friends with benefits but he ended it out of the blue and started sleeping with other girls, it's so hard for me to see him get with other girls but I have to put up with it. I don't know what to do anymore I feel like I've turned into some monster I used to be such a nice bubbly person who never got jealous easily.
Our Reply
Hi Anonymous,
It sounds like this episode with your friend has knocked your confidence and perhaps has made you feel quite negative about the rest of your life right now.
All universities have a counselling service, that I would suggest you take advantage of. Even if you are near the end of your course it’s never too late to go and see someone, as this can be the time you feel the most pressure.
All you need to do is go and visit your doctor and ask for a referral to one of the counsellors- you should be offered a minimum of six sessions. Students see them for a variety of issues- homesickness, relationship trouble, exam pressure- so anything you take with you will be treat with respect and understanding.
Do you have girlfriends that you could talk to? Perhaps a day out with some of your friends to buy some new clothes and getting pampered might raise your spirits if you are feeling low about your appearance. It might also help you to relax and unwind for a bit.
Perhaps try to focus on the here and now- finishing university- rather than thinking too far ahead which might be putting too much pressure on you. What might be important now is to find a happier place inside and to finish what you started 3 years ago. Marriage and kids often come later- so maybe try to save worrying about them for after graduation.
tagged in University yin and yang agony aunt
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