Hi Becky,

Chances are your Mum will not react well to finding out that he ex-boyfriend is dating her daughter. If you keep it a secret- there is always the risk the she will find out- which might make her even angrier if you have previously had an honest relationship with her.

Things didn’t work out between her and him- perhaps because of the age difference perhaps because of other things- so it is expected that she will move on and he will too. The difficulty is it being so close to home. Many people want to cut their ex out of their lives in order to heal- if you date him then he will always be there as a reminder of their relationship demise.

It has only been 8 weeks which is not a long time to get over someone. Perhaps talk to her about your feelings- if you have both felt strongly about each other for years then it doesn’t sound like you are walking into this lightly. That said- be prepared for some negative reaction to this if you are serious about pursuing it and maybe talk to each other about how you will handle it when it is directed at you. You should not have to choose between them- but you may be asked to- so try to think of damage control before you speak to your mum.

Try to be 100% certain of your feelings for each other before risking your relationship with your mum- if you are not committed to this then you will have jeapordised this for no reason.