Bea asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He lives a little while away from me so we have had to deal with a long distance relationship for the 4 years we have been together. We see each other one day a week and then spend every weekend together. I have been with him since I was young and he is all I have ever known. I love him but I find myself attracted to other people, I don't know why. I really liked another guy and it makes me feel awful but I can't help it! I am happy with my boyfriend but I have feelings well I'm not too sure what to call them for another person! Am I a bad person? Why do I feel this way?
Our Reply
Hi Bea,
It is normal be curious about being with other men when the one you are with is all you know. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to other people while you are in a relationship; it’s about what you do with that information that counts.
It makes it twice as hard if you are in a long term relationship because it can feel like the grass would be greener with someone closer. Your boyfriend is not physically there to remind you of what you have now- so it’s possible to get distracted.
If you truly love your boyfriend then perhaps try to ignore these feelings you have towards the other guy. You are not a bad person for thinking someone other than you boyfriend is appealing, but if you are thinking of leaving your guy, then try to be mindful of your his feeling and how you would want to find out if he were breaking things off with you.
tagged in long distance relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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