Jenna asks :
Hey Lucy,
Me and my best guy friend have been friends for years but I think there's something more than just friends. All our friends think we should get together but he doesn't want say I do but I think we should at least try and every time I bring it up he either refuses to talk about or just says no. I feel like I don't get my say and it's hurting our friendship now as we both get really jealous when we go out with others. What should I do? Do you think we should try to be more than friends?
Hi Jenna,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Try not to be so influenced by your friend’s opinions of whether you should be together or not. The main thing is if it feels right for you both. If you have already brought it up and he has refused to talk about it or says ‘no’ then perhaps he really just wants to remain as you are. If you persist with asking him against his will then it will inevitably hurt your friendship. Whether you have your say or not it might not affect the way he feels about you. It is good that you can be honest with him about such things but remember that vocalising your feelings doesn’t always get you what you want.
If he gets jealous it could simply be that he misses his friend and that if you go out with someone it takes time away from you and him spending nights together.
If you think that the friendship should evolve into something more romantic then he might not see things the same way. Why not try to be his friend and put being together to the back of your mind for now. You are putting a lot at risk by trying- what if it doesn’t work out? Where will your friendship be then?
All that said- you know him the best- do you think he is doing it to mask his true feelings or because he is shy? Or is he worried about your friendship changing? If you genuinely think he is covering up for something then perhaps ask him one more time and then leave it be. That way you will know either way and you can either work on becoming a couple or getting some closure on the matter.
tagged in Friendship friend yin and yang agony aunt
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