Shohorst asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend and I are apart 2 weeks and then he's home for maybe 1 - 2 days. If he watches porn without me is he cheating on me? I'm really curious
Hi Shohorst,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Cheating is usually defined as a physical or emotional thing. He is not physically having sex with the women he sees in the porn he is watching and there is no room for an emotional attachment, so I would be inclined to say not.
It is unrealistic to think that a man would not masturbate after two weeks without sex, unless you have an agreement to abstain. If you are concerned that he is watching too much porn then why not try some phone sex or sexting to get him in the mood with you? It sounds like he has been honest with you and told you he watches porn- it might be worse if he was hiding it from you- but he hasn’t. It seems that he wants an honest relationship with you but perhaps he doesn’t know how you feel about him watching it.
He is probably only watching porn because he is horny and you are not there to enjoy his passion with, so maybe something like this would make him steer clear of it.
Perhaps you could tuck some dirty lingerie in his bag before he goes so he can think of you while he is masturbating.
All that said, every relationship has its different boundaries- perhaps you could talk to him about it and how it makes you feel. The more open and honest about it you are, the more comfortable you might feel about having it in your relationship- perhaps you could enjoy having it on at home together when he gets back.
The fact is, that men are more visual creatures and like something to look at when they are getting themselves off- women can work on their fantasies and rely on these to have good time. We are programmed differently in terms of reaching orgasm but the goal is the same. There are many ways and means of making porn less taboo in your relationship and also ways that you can divert his attention to thinking of you when he is away. Communication is important here- if you are not in each other’s company a lot- the time you do spend together is precious. Perhaps you should talk to him about this before it dominates the two days he is home, which you might regret once he leaves again if you don’t bring up this issue sooner rather than later.
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