Rosie asks :
Hi, I'm 19 years old and I was hoping for some advice regarding feeling jealous. My partner and I have been together two and a half years now. He chats to a younger girl who shares similar interests as him and they talk quite a lot. Due to my own insecurities I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough or that he'd be better suited with her. I'd really appreciate some advice about how to get around this feeling and any suggestions on how to be more confident would be great. Thank you.
Hi Rosie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It can be difficult when a partner becomes close to someone of the opposite sex. It can feel like a threat, especially if the outside person has the same interests as your loved one that you don't share.
If you don't have the same passions then it can be expected that he will find someone who does elsewhere so he can talk to similar minded people. He may just want to be able to discuss this with someone who is as excited by them as he is.
It does not necessarily mean that she is better for him than you are- because you will likely share other similar interests outside of this too. Remember it is important that couples have things they do together as well as apart- this is the mark of a healthy relationship. If you liked all the same things- it would get very boring very fast.
If you are made to feel uncomfortable by him seeing her then perhaps talk to him about it. It doesn't have to be in the form of an accusation, but more a discussion over what he gains from seeing her that you are unable to offer. Just as you might gain something from talking to your friend that you wouldn't talk to your partner about.
Perhaps talk about how he would feel if you had a close male friend and try to ask him to see it from your side of things.
It would really help if you can be honest and open with each other over this or this jealousy you speak of could get worse if you are making assumptions all the time over this friendship and its intentions.
Perhaps your confidence should lie in the fact that he could leave you for her at any time and he hasn't. Sometimes people just break the mould and find a friend in a member of the opposite sex.
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