LILY THOMAS asks :
ok... i'm a 18yr old girl. I'm single. my best friend studies abroad.. she's not here most time of the year. i miss her a lot. so i end up talking to her boyfriend. he and i have become great friends. we get along like a house on fire. we hang out almost every weekend and talk nonstop. he has been hinting me of late that he would like to date me. however i have no interest i him. recently he asked me for a physical relationship. he said he misses her but can't remain so long without sex. i don't have anything happening in my life and this sounds like fun. but i don't want to cheat on my best friend. he however maintains that he loves her and plans on marrying her. i'm scared that i may develop feelings for him, but i also, don't want to hurt him by saying no. what do i do? please help.
Yin replies
It is good that you get on with your friends partner, but there is getting on too well with him. If you start something up with him, you can say goodbye to your friendship with your best friend. She would likely never forgive you if she found out and these things always come out in the end.
If he loved her and wanted to marry her he wouldn’t let his sexual urges get in the way, he would put them to one side and wait for her. What he is saying and what he is doing are two very opposite things. It is likely that you have been friends with this girl for much longer than him, so don’t jeopardise that over your friendship for her.
Yang replies
I would suggest dialling back you friendship with him and looking for a romantic interest that is far removed for this situation. If he is hurt then he has brought it on himself, so don't feel too bad about it. If he really cared for her he would understand the impossible situation he has put you in. The less you see him and talk about this, then this will help you not to develop any more feelings for him!
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