Lucy asks :
Hi Lucy,
I am currently in my first serious relationship and as far as I can see we are both very happy together. I am completely in love with him and can't get him off my mind. However there is one thing that I don't know how to say to him. Every time we are alone either at my house or his and we are simply having a cuddle, he will put his hand up the back of my top and sometimes up the front. It's not that I don't feel comfortable with this because I feel completely comfortable with him, however this happens all the time and it seems to be the only thing he wants to do. If I try and stop him he just proceeds to try again. How do I get him to stop? I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him think I don't love him or whatever. HELP!!!
Our Reply
Hi Lucy,
If you are in your first serious relationship does this mean that he is too? It sounds like he is perhaps inexperienced and a little forward about taking your relationship to the next level. Perhaps because of social pressures and expectations.
If you don’t like where he is putting his hands then perhaps you need to take the lead here. If want to dial back the physical affection right now then move it to your leg or place it over your top on your tummy or somewhere else a bit more innocent. These moves will show him that you are not ready to be touched in the places he is gravitating towards right now.
You are both learning what makes each other tick, so if you guide him then he should catch on pretty quick as to where you like to be touched and what is not really doing it for you. If he doesn’t get the message then talk to him about it, it doesn’t mean that you love him any less, but you might have different ideas about what pace you want to take the relationship in and if you talk about it you can both get on the same page and move forward together. The important thing is that you don’t feel pressure to do anything you are not ready for, so perhaps make him aware of this. If he wants to rush things at a pace you are not prepared for then it may be that he is not for you.
Lucy x
tagged in Love Cuddles Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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