Mia asks :
Dear Lucy,
I met this great guy over the summer, everything was going beautifully; he would take me out on dates, buy me gifts & call me beautiful then suddenly his mother become sick and he wanted to just be friends. I tried very hard to take it gracefully but I can't keep myself away from him and this means that I've been mean and have said stuff I regret to him, also I've had to initiate conversation he doesn't start conversations first. I feel like I need to give him time & give myself time to heal but I feel if I do this he will never come back, which breaks my heart. What should I do? I need your help urgently. Thank you very much, Mia
Our Reply
Hi Mia, thanks for getting in touch.
If he needs to take time out to help with his mum, then I’m afraid you may have to wait for him, or move on. With respect, he has been with his mother all his life and with you for significantly less, so it will always be the case that family takes priority.
When you do make contact if you are being mean or saying stuff you regret, this will not help how he is feeling, if he is already burdened with worries for his mum. I would suggest dialling it back and letting him make the move next. If he wants to see you he will be in touch in his own time. Rushing him will not help you or a potential relationship. What he needs now is a friend and a listening ear. Offer him that. If you can be a source of support for him while he is going through this, he won’t forget it or you and likely come back to you in time. It may just be as a friend, but at least he will still be in your life.
If things progress beyond that point then deal with that as it comes, but right now it sounds like you both need space, for him to be with his family and for you to try and move on.
Good luck,
Lucy x
tagged in Friends Mother Relationship yin and yang
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