mimi asks :
hello,i have a friend lets call her : amy shes my best friend, noone puts her down but shes constantly saying shes crying over text and putting depressing pics up on instagram and as her profile pictures,but when i talk about its she just avoids the subject. when im with her and over friends shes happy always hyper and laughing smiling etc and every day i have to tell her how much i love her and how much i enjoy her company,how preety she is how wveryone else love her,its getting a bit annoying,what should i do? i hope you reply thank you for your time
Yin replies
It sounds like she likes the attention from you and is now aware that if she has a bad day you will pick her up- it's a habit you two have formed. People who require constant reissuance are usually lacking in self-esteem, however if they don’t believe it themselves then no matter how many times you tell them, this won’t help. She has to believe in herself.
If she won’t talk to you perhaps talk to her parents about it and tell them you are worried about her constant need to feel wanted. Perhaps they could talk to her and see if there are any changes that can be made in her home life to make her feel more secure, which will naturally extend out to her social life.
Yang replies
You could suggest that she talk to a professional about it if she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you. If she is feeling down, the Samaritans are a great place to start; they are free and open 24/7 if she needs to talk about her feelings. If you feel she is much worse then perhaps advise her to go to the doctor and speak about getting a referral to a counsellor.
It appears that she only asks for reassurance from you; has your friendship been rocky lately? Has there been an incident that would explain why she is feeling a bit distant from you? If so you could make arrangements to see her more, as actions speak louder than words- as soon as she realises that you are there for her no matter what, she might open up more and become less demanding of positive comments as the friendship feels more solid.
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