Hi Daphne,

How do you know he loves her more than you? Has he told you this? If so then it doesn’t sound like he is very considerate of your feelings especially if you already have issues with a lack of self-esteem.

It is an uncomfortable situation for you to be in, however it was for an event, it was not something that they arranged on their own. Chances are these family events might come up quite often- so you think you can cope with him and his ex going to them without you there? If he doesn’t see a problem with it then it might be because there is nothing in it other than a meeting of the family.

If you want to live together and that is something you prioritise then could you talk to him about it? Has he told you that you will never live tighter? Or just for now? He may feel sceptical about moving in with another woman after what happened the last time- he may think that one day you will leave him as his wife did, which could explain his reluctance to do so. If you stress how much it means to you and how committed you are to him then he might change his mind.

You found someone to be with later in life, so there is nothing to say you can’t find this again- so if you want to leave try not to let that hold you back. Better to be single than in a relationship that is making you unhappy Perhaps you are better off as friends? That way you could still enjoy his company without having to worry about the situation with his ex?