Val asks :
Hi Lucy,
My children broke all contact with me after their dad and I divorced and my youngest son died. They are both adults. I wrote to both of them several times over the years and have got no response. I did have some contact with my daughter, but she stopped all contact with me without explaining why. She got married last year but never invited me which left me devastated. I wrote a letter to her last week asking if I could visit her so we could have a chat. But I got no reply. Do you think I should visit her? Or give up and move on like everyone is telling me to? Thank you, Val
Hi Val,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like you have tried really hard to re-establish contact with your children. There is nothing and no one to say that you can't stop writing your letters- one day they may eventually get back to you. If your daughter did in response to a letter you sent before, then it is possible that she might again. Could you write a letter to her spouse? Perhaps they could convince her to meet up with you, if she is willing to listen to them, if not you right now?
If you visit her without notice, she may not react well. If she is not at the stage of replying to your letters, then she may be far from ready to meet up.
Perhaps some counselling might help you to deal with the reaction of your children since your divorce. If you still feel some residual grief over your divorce, the death of your son or just over not being able to talk to your kids, then this might help. It sounds like people are telling you what to do and you are not ready to move on yet. Perhaps if you could talk to someone who is not involved, it would help you to decide if you want to keep trying or if you feel ready to move on.
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