Tracy asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have just found out my husband of 18 years has been having an affair for a year. If we split I have nothing. No money, no house what do I do?
Hi Tracy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This is an awful thing to find out, especially after you have been together for so long.
I suppose you could ask yourself the question- would you only stay with him for the security or would you want to make another go of things and try to rekindle what you once had? If you are only staying for the money and the house, then is there someone who could put you up for a few days/weeks/months while you clear your head? Family or a friend? Maybe you think you would have nothing but if you had some time to break it down and process it- you might have more than you initially thought.
Perhaps it would help to talk to your husband about all of this. He may have strayed; however he might still care for you and be concerned for your welfare if you do decide to go your separate ways. Perhaps it's best to try and make your time together as amicable as possible while you decide if you want to try and push past this or leave one another.
Could you suggest some relationship counselling to explore why he felt the need to cheat and what you could do to work through it or how you can potentially make a break up as painless and fair as possible?
If you are married then you should be entitled to something in the event of your divorce, so it might be worth seeking some advice from a professional to find out what you are legally allowed to take away from this marriage with you if that is ultimately what you decide to do.
tagged in Affair Husband yin and yang agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.