Hi Michelle,

Have you spoken to him about this? Perhaps if you told him how his behaviour makes you feel- then it might prompt him to change his attitude towards them. If he oblivious to the fact that he is making you upset there is no hope of change.

You could ask him why he feels like he doesn't have to make a bigger effort with them- there could be something deeper that is responsible for his lack of interest than first appears.

Have you tried to get him involved with them? Arranged some time all together- asked him to take responsibility for part of the day or looking after one of your grandchildren? Perhaps if you and your daughter tend to take care of all of the planning of your time together, he feels like there is nothing left for him to do and has got into the habit of always taking a back seat?

Perhaps he doesn’t feel comfortable with younger children, many men are cautious around children because they are unsure of how to engage with them. How was he when your daughter was young?- could this be a repeat pattern? If he lacked confidence around her when she was younger then perhaps he is doing the same now because he never got over that lack of self-consciousness around kids.