How do I tell my boyfriend I want a serious relationship?

by Lucy Moore | 2 November 2014

Hi Sheryl,

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you feel ready, great, but I would try and find out if he wants the same things as you before you dive into it completely. You might have been together for a while and have been clear from the beginning that you both want something long term. You could have the same future aspirations and so are perhaps in a place to tell him that you want to take things to the next level- whatever that may be- a key to each other’s houses or moving in together.

If you are unsure of where he is at and jump in with telling him that you want sometime serious it might scare him off. If you feel that you are destined to have something serious then it should just happen without having to mark the exact moment when it needs to start. This would put a lot of pressure on you both. You might feel that you need to give yourself timescales and goals which could be too much at this stage.

If it’s a matter of being exclusive with each other than that is different. If you want fidelity then you could ask him for it- the sooner you know if he is on board with this the better if that is what you want or you could end up getting hurt. Asking for monogamy is asking for a serious relationship without any of the bigger gestures attached, so you could approach it with this first. 

Honesty is often the best policy so you don’t find yourself further down the road with different intentions.

It might be dependent on his age too and his situation as to whether he might be ready for the same.

If this is your first relationship, then it could be that you are simply worrying over feeling this way because it’s all new to you.

The definition of a serious relationship is different for everyone so perhaps you just need to decide what this means for you and then figure out of you feel as a couple you are ready for the progression or not. 

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by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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