P asks :
Hi Lucy, I have feelings for my best friend. She has told me that she feels the same, when we are both drunk. We have not yet spoke about it sober and I'm too scared to do so incase I mess up our friendship with awkwardness. It's all I can think about and it's starting to make me crazy, I think I've fallen in love with her but we can't seem to have a sensible conversation about it all. Should I bite the bullet and bring it up or just try to get over all this for the sake of our friendship?! Thank you
Our Reply
Hi P, thanks for getting in touch.
Drunkenness is an opportunity for us to say how we really feel without worrying about the consequences, not an opportunity to lie. If she has told you that she feels this way when she is drunk, chances are she will when she is sober.
You will put your friendship at risk, yes, but if you feel like this could be something long term then it may be worth it. A lot of successful relationships stem from being good friends first, as a lot of the ground work has already been done. It’s just a matter of making that transition from platonic to sexual smoothly.
Why not talk to her, perhaps suggest that you try it out for a while, take things slowly- go out for dates, hold hands, kissing- all of the lighter things and see how you feel. If it feels natural and comfortable then you could progress to having as sexual relationship, however if it feels too awkward then perhaps you are not destined to be. Expect a little adjustment period if you have been friends for a long time, but if it’s meant to be this should pass fairly quickly.
Good luck,
Lucy x
tagged in Love Friendship yin and yang best friend agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.