Ray asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have been in contact online with a Russian lady since the end of November, I am in my 70s and she is only in her late40s and we are both are falling in love with each other, I am in England and do not have the finances to go there or pay for her to come here, I find I have this lady on my mind all the time, and I would like to know what you think and give me advice as to what we should do.
Our Reply
Hi Ray,
Online relationships are tricky, you can certainly create a significant connection over email with someone as you talk about your common interests and feelings, but if you haven’t met, falling in love is pretty hard. How do you know she is who she says she is?
If you can’t afford to go over there to see her which is a big risk anyway, then you are setting yourself up for hurt. It is difficult to maintain a long distance relationship when seeing each other every so often but it could be that you see each other almost never. Could you maintain a relationship purely based on talking or email without any physical contact?
Perhaps she has been good for you because you needed someone to talk to and connect with and she has done that for you and you for her- perhaps it's the basis of a really good friendship? If you are falling in love with each other, then perhaps it’s time to dial things back a bit to protect yourselves from more hurt. The harder you fall for her the worse it will be that you can’t visit.
Lucy x
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