What To Do asks :
Hi Lucy,
We have a dilemma I have met a women who is 26 years older than me and we both started chatting we have been chatting now for about 10 days but we both agreed that it be only friends which I agreed too. We have met up a few times and have developed feelings for each other; she says she has never felt like this about anyone who has been in her life before (Including ex relationships). When she is not with me she says she can’t get anything done as all she does is think about me and can’t get to sleep either and has anxiety attacks as she feels this is wrong because of our age. She wants to take me to bed she says she feels like a love sick fool for having these feelings for me. She feels sick when she gets like this and sometimes cries. Also I really like her myself that I can’t give up on her as I really like her and am falling for her. We can’t stand being apart from each other I go all hot and fuzzy start shaking lose my breath. She has tried ending it before its get any further but I have found it hard to let her do this. We met up and agreed to end it and it was so hard when leaving each other as I thought we did not give ourselves a chance to see what it really would of been like together. However we went about 3 - 4 hours without speaking and before the night was over we were talking again (The Next Day). Last night we met again and took it a step further with a cuddle and then a kiss and then sex which was amazing for the both of us. When we actually started cuddling and kissing I asked her if she still had anxiety and she said no, she felt at ease but it was me who was actually shaking when we held each other. I don't know what to do.
Our Reply
Hi,
It sounds like you are in a very passionate place with this woman and her with you. Remember that it will not always be like this- these feelings do fade with time, so it won’t always be so intense between you both. Perhaps right now is not a true reflection of how things will be further down the line.
People are always going to talk when you are in a relationship with anyone- it’s more of an easy target when there is an age difference. All I would say is that you should be prepared for some difficulties going into this if it is what you choose, both in your relationship and outside of it. There is an entire generation of age between you so you might find that you have different interests, feelings and pace of life. That said, every relationship has it problems, yours might just be a little different from others.
You have only been talking for 10 days with this woman- so try to separate your head and your heart right now- the rush and excitement of a new romance might be clouding your judgement a little bit. Perhaps take things slow until this raw emotion has calmed down and see how you feel then.
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