Hi Sam,

School crushes are often the most powerful you will ever have. They are the first dalliances with relationships and love and so have a strong meaning in a person’s history. It could be that you are transported back to the feelings you once had that were very strong at the time. You are probably thinking about the relationship you had then, which may have changed now you are older.

Take this guy out of the equation, if you love your boyfriend and things are future orientated, why is he an issue? It could simply be that you haven’t found anyone else attractive since being together and it has taken you by surprise.

The talk of future with your partner might be something you are not ready for and so are trying to grasp at your past where you felt safe and had less responsibility than the future might hold with him. If you feel like the course it set and it’s a course you don’t really want to go down, then this could be bringing up all sorts of emotions about your current relationship.

If you don’t feel ready to take the next steps with your boyfriend then perhaps you need to discuss this with him. If this new guy has highlighted that things are not as you want them to be in your current relationship then avoiding him won’t solve the problem.