Carla asks :

Hi Lucy,

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else in the world but something weird happened to me on a night out with the girls. Another guy showed an interest in me and I kind of fancied him back I didn't kiss him or anything we just danced and laughed together. After a while I saw him doing the same with other girls but I can't stop thinking about him and part of me wishes I had kissed him I don't know what to do but I can't shake this feeling off. Help!

Hi Carla,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you have been with someone for a while; flirting and the excitement of being in a relationship can fade, leaving you to notice when other people choose to make you feel this way again. Interest and flirtation can be flattering and flattery always comes with positive associations. Right now you might feel good and automatically think about him as a result.

If he was doing the same with other girls then chances are he is a just a smooth talker and enjoyed the risqué banter with you; nothing more.

I would suggest that you need to take a look at your relationship and see if this event has highlighted something missing with your partner. Perhaps you need to begin flirting with one another again over text, email or in each other’s company. Maybe you need to make an effort to be more exciting or a bit more spontaneous to let both of you remember why you got together in the first place.

If this guy treat you the same as all the other women in the bar that night then he may not be worth risking your three year relationship for, but rather use this experience to channel your cravings into your partnership.

If you continue to look at other men with lust, then it may be that your relationship has run its course and you are ready to be with someone new. However after so long; it might be worth exploring if there is anything you can do to make you notice your boyfriend again first.  

 


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