Alesha asks :

Hi Lucy,

I've been crazy about a guy for the last 5 years the only problem is he's older. Much. I'm 22 and he will be 40 soon. I've recently come out of a long term relationship and now I'm single I'm wondering whether or not to take the plunge? He was insistent that I shouldn't be with my ex-boyfriend as I wasn't happy, he says such wonderful things to and about me and he can be quite frisky and flirtatious. The only problem is I'm wondering if I'm misreading the signs I'm scared to make the first move and scared to wait for him. Is he feeling the same, what should I do?

Hi Alesha,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

5 years is a long time to be ‘crazy’ about someone so you might owe it to yourself to find out where this could go. If he encouraged you to leave your ex then that could be a sign that he wanted you to be together or he might just have been protective of you, especially if he is older. If he is flirty and says nice things to you then he might be looking for something more.

If you know him well- is he like this with other women or just you? It could be that he has a gift of being a smooth talker, in which case you might have misinterpreted his naturally flirtatious banter.

Could you talk to him? If you feel confused by his chatter then maybe ask him what his intentions are. He might be thinking the same- that the age difference will be an issue and testing the water by being a bit ‘frisky’.

If you don’t ask him then you might always be left wondering if you could have had a chance together so could you invite him on a date and just see how things go? 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.