Jess asks :
Hi Lucy,
My world has come crashing down. 11 years ago I had a 1 night stand while with my ex, to whom I have a 10 year old. Recently, I bumped into the one night stand, only to realise he is my kids double. I was young and silly at the time and didn't think of the possibility he could have gotten me pregnant. They look so similar the girl I was with even said so. My ex on the other hand looks nothing like my child but has however been a good dad for 10 years.... Help please
Hi Jess,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If your ex has been a good dad to your child the he might still value the relationship he has with him/her enough to carry on seeing them. If you did request a paternity test, it might upset the arrangement that you have with him now if it’s amicable, however at least your mind would be at ease.
Would the one night stand be the type of guy to step in and want to look after your child? If you tell him then he might start demanding his rights as a father if in fact he is.
If you do talk to your ex about the possibility of him not being the father- how do you think he would react? Would he remove himself of all responsibly or would he stay on the scene for the sake of the last 10 years?
If you do decide to look into this further be prepared for it to rock the boat for a while. Your ex might eventually overlook it due to being in your child’s life for so long or he could walk away. It all depends on their relationship.
As for the one night stand- would he believe you? Do you think he would agree to a test?
Maybe approach him first and see if he will take the test and take things from there, rather than telling your ex first before you have all the facts.
tagged in Pregnancy One Night Stand yin and yang agony aunt
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