Steven asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm a university student, living in a house with 5 others. In September we had a new girl move in whom nobody knew. Me and her became good friends and I secretly fancied her. Two days ago, she made her move and kissed me whilst we were out in a club. It escalated to sex, once we had returned home. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything and seeing her the next day was fine for both of us! The question is, what do I do now? What it just fun to her or does she really like me to? She's not the kind of girl that would like the pressure of direct questioning on the matter. Thank you! I need the help.
Our Reply
Hi Steven, thanks for getting in touch!
If she made a move then it could be that she likes you or it could be that she wanted a good time. Is she the type of girl who sleeps around? If not it could be that she likes you in that way. The fact that is wasn’t uncomfortable is a good sign if you are living together, but again it might be down to the fact that she doesn’t place a lot of meaning on sex or that it’s the right time and the right place for you both.
The only way you will find out is to ask or broach the subject I’m afraid. Why not arrange to go out with her on your own? You don’t have to class it as a date, but just pop out for a coffee or to get some food or to the local bar. This might prompt her to ask if it is a date, in which case if she looks happy at the idea you could say that it is. Or the time alone could mean that you talk about what happened and see how things go from there. Perhaps mention that you don’t sleep around which will give her the opportunity to volunteer the information about herself too. If she says she does then you could either move on or have a friends with benefits relationship, if you could handle not being a couple. If she says that she doesn’t then the likelihood is it meant something more to her.
She is not being awkward with you now after you have had sex; so chances are if you ask her out and she isn’t interested in that way, she won’t make it awkward after that either. Direct questioning can be too much for some people but if you are subtle you will get the information you need and if it’s meant to be then you and her will get there eventually!
Good luck,
Lucy x
tagged in University student yin and yang agony aunt kissed
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