Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have an awesome friendship with this girl we get along like a house on fire. I love her to bits, I'd give anything to be with her. I asked her out about a year ago, only for her to turn me down because she said she couldn't see me as anything more than a friend. The thing is I can't help but think there’s more to it as she is also the first cousin of my sister in law and she disagrees with two members of one family being married to 2 brothers. I can't help being so in love with her, I would give anything to be with her, when I declared my love for her, I had a girlfriend at the time and even stated I would leave my girlfriend to be with her. But I still got rejected, my friends all say that me and her would make an amazing couple. My family have dropped hints that they would like me to be with her, I see her almost every day as we work close to each other and we go to and from work together, and spend most lunches together. I would give anything and everything in the world to be with this girl and make her happy, but why can't she see this for her own eyes as everyone I possibly know has said me and her look and are so good together. It pains me so much to know how she feels but I can't help think maybe something can materialise as we are constantly in communication with each other and do sometimes have the occasional light flirting. My friends have suggested I try again but the fear of rejection scares me so much I don't know what to do anymore.. Please help!!
Our Reply
Hi Anonymous,
You could try again and see if her feelings have changed, however be prepared for rejection as they may have stayed the same. Rejection is part of the dating scene I’m afraid and you have to endure it a few times before finding the one- so there is no way to avoid this on your quest for true love but remember it’s worth it in the end! If you have already asked her out once and it’s not been weird since then if you do it again chances are you will be able to pull it back if she doesn’t want a relationship. You still seem to have hope after the last time you asked her- so it may be worth just asking the question one more time- if you think there are other reasons behind her first response.
Everyone else might think that you are a great couple- but it’s more important the two people involved do and it sounds like perhaps she doesn’t. If she doesn’t want to be with you romantically then perhaps treasure the part of her that you do have in your life and try to put your all into the friendship. If you are constantly hoping for more then that could damage your friendship as it stands.
She has had the respect for you to tell you how she really feels and that is better than agreeing to something her heart is not really in and letting you down once you are an item. That would likely hurt you much more.
tagged in Love Friendship Sister friend married yin and yang agony aunt
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