Amy asks :
Hi Lucy,
I love my boyfriend and he loves me but I think it would be better for both of us if we broke up because we argue a lot even though we always resolve it in the end. The only problem is I love him too much and I know if I break up with him we won't be able to cope without each other because he's a shoulder for me to cry on and I'm the same for him. I love him with all my heart and he loves me with all of his. What should I do?
Hi Amy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Even the best couples argue; the most important thing is that you can resolve them and move on. Perhaps take a look at what you are arguing over- a lot of arguments occur because of how you are both responding to the stimulus. Do you need to get angry over it or could you have a conversation about it instead and try to find another away around things?
If you love each other then it might be worth giving things another go, however is the love you have for each other romantic or has it evolved into something that is more platonic?
You can still be a support for each other as friends and ‘shoulder to cry on’ that you seem to hold so dearly. Perhaps ask him how he feels about the relationship. If you are constantly arguing then it can’t be good for either of you- so he might be motivated to find a solution or agree with your first instinct.
‘You can’t change others- only yourself’ is something I was once told and it might apply here. When you argue perhaps look at your reactions to what you are arguing over rather than storming in with a natural response- which is likely to snap and say hurtful things to one another- as most couples do.
For example- if he goes out a lot with his friends and you feel like he is not giving you enough time, instead of pulling him up on it- maybe find some friends of family of your own to go out with on the same night. That way you are not left in the house focusing on what he has done to wrong you- you have just got on with your life and spent it with people you love and make you feel good. Thus diffusing the anger or resentment you might have felt for your partner.
tagged in Love boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
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