Kathryn asks :
Hi Lucy,
Recently, I've had serious feelings for my best friend. He's been my friend for a while and we're very close however neither of us has ever even considered anything more, we are completely platonic. He has just begun a relationship with a mutual male friend despite labelling himself as questioning (lgbtQ) as he is completely unsure of his sexuality. My feelings for him are affecting me very negatively and I'm feeling very alone as the only person I could possibly turn to is the object of my affections. I of course want them both to be happy, but can't help feeling more in-love, depressed and lonely. I really don't feel I could tell him about my feelings, he has a lot to deal with as it is and I couldn't bear to damage the best friendship I've ever been in. What do I do? :( x
Hi Kathryn,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps talk to him about it; it may seem inappropriate while he is with someone else, however if you don’t ask you might always be left wondering if you could have been an item. If he is the only person you can talk to, then perhaps you need to bite the bullet and do it.
If he is confused about his sexuality, then he might not be as committed to this guy as you think, or you could end up getting hurt if he decides he is only attracted to men.
Either way, perhaps you need to get it off your chest, if keeping it inside is making you lonely and feeling depressed. If he doesn’t feel the same way then hopefully your friendship is strong enough to go back to being how you were, if he does then maybe you can decide what to do from there.
If he has a lot to deal with right now, then maybe leave it and confide in your family or perhaps or write it down in a diary as this can often help to clarify your thoughts and assist you through difficult times.
Whatever you decide if he treasures this friendship as much as you seem to then you should be fine.
tagged in Relationship friend yin and yang agony aunt
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